


Everything I need

by DearLittleRobin



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Fluff, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith and LAnce were dating at the Garrison, Lance (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 04:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17237609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearLittleRobin/pseuds/DearLittleRobin
Summary: “Oh for fucks sake, do you really have to take everything I want from me?” Lance had said to Keith when he had found him sitting on the roof.On that day, by “everything I want” Lance had meant the spot as a fighter pilot, Takashi Shirogane’s affection, Iverson’s respect and a good peaceful chill time at the secret place on the roof Lance had called his own.Months after that encounter (plus one failed Kerberos mission), Lance would once more be able to say Keith took everything he wanted from him. That time, however, it had nothing to do with positions or instructors.AkaLance and Keith were secretly dating at the Garrison. Things get bad before they get good again.





	Everything I need

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I post new shit when I already have so many other hsit to work on? i don't know.  
> Hope you guys like it, tho.

 Seeing the familiar figure again after so long without even knowing if Keith was alive felt like a slap on Lance’s face and a stab on his heart. He had imagined it was Keith after seeing the hoverbike, the one he thought he would never see again, but still, to actually be _sure_ it was him. It was a mixture of sadness and anger and happiness all at once, the moment so full of emotion it felt hard to breathe.

“That’s Keith” He told his friends, putting the binoculars down and giving them back to Pidge.

“Are you sure?” Hunk questioned.

“I’d recognize that mullet anywhere”

Lance wasn’t quite sure what made him run towards the boy who had caused him so much pain, but before he could even blink he was already sliding down the hill with both Hunk and Pidge behind him. It was when he ended up harshly opening the curtains to the medical tent that he realized he had no idea on what to say to Keith.

Fortunately, like during his actions before that point, his brain just went on autopilot.

“Seems like you are not dead, Kogane” Lance said and even he was impressed with the venom his voice carried.

Keith, at least, had the decency to flinch a bit.

“Lance-” He started, but a pained groan from Shiro cut off whatever he was going to say. Keith turned to the man he was supporting, a worried look on his face, before he turned back to Lance. “This is not the time for this conversation” He said finally and his voice carried no guilt whatsoever, no regret or pain.

Honestly? Lance _really_ wanted to have that conversation at that exact moment. He could physically feel the anger radiating from himself, his pride so hurt he felt vulnerable.

But then he looked at Shiro, hurt and in need of help, and decided there were more important things than his broken heart.

“Fuck you” He spat out, and moved to help Keith carry Shiro out.

Keith, thankfully, didn’t say anything else. Lance honestly didn’t know if he could have controlled himself not to punch the boy in the face if he had opened his big mouth again.

 _God, how I miss that mouth,_ Was Lance’s first thought after that.

 _Fuck off, brain,_ Was his second.

“Uh, guys” Hunk’s panicked voice broke the internal discussion Lance was currently having and he raised his head to stare at his friend’s wide eyes “They’re coming back!”

Lance hopped on the hoverbike with Shiro on his arms, Pidge quick to sit next to him and help support the man. When Keith started the engine, Lance didn’t want to admit he felt the thrill of emotion and happiness he used to.

Keith piloted like a mad man, but Lance was used to it, countless escapades on that same hoverbike made Lance pretty immune to Keith’s reckless style. Hunk and Pidge were a different story though.

“You are going to get us killed!” Pidge had screamed as they made a sharp turn, missing a rock by no more than a few inches.

“Shut up and trust me!” Keith had screamed back.

That phrase brought up the anger Lance had not that successfully hidden away.

  _Trust you?!,_ Lance wanted to scream back, _How dare you ask me to trust you again?!_

He didn’t say anything, though, that was not the moment for that discussion. Instead he just moved Shirogane a bit so he was more comfortable and hoped Keith wouldn't get them all killed.

(He knew Keith wouldn’t)

+++

Lance still helped Keith carry Shiro inside the shack, careful not to make eye contact with the boy. Hundreds of questions went through his mind as they walked towards a room.

Had Keith owned that shack before dropping out? If yes, why had he never shown it to Lance? Hadn’t he trusted him? Even after everything?

“Just put him in the bed” Keith brought him out of his thought. His voice, once again, was devoid of all emotion.

Lance didn’t say anything, just did as Keith said. Shirogane was not as heavy as Lance thought he would be, but he was still quite difficult to maneuver. He and Keith could do it, though, and Lance could ignore how the moment their hands accidentally touched he felt his stomach roll.

Lance left the room while Keith put some covers on Shirogane, going to where Hunk and Pidge sat in the shack’s living room (if you could even call it that)

“So” Hunk started once Keith had left Shirogane’s room “Now what?”

“I don’t suppose I can make you go back to the Garrison now” Keith answered him, successfully avoiding Lance’s gaze “So you can take the couch and we-” He turned his head and Lance finally looked him in the eye “We can figure shit out tomorrow”

And Lance knew, he knew what Keith meant. _Please,_ his dark purple-ish eyes seemed to say, _Leave it to tomorrow._ Lance also knew Keith didn’t deserve it, he didn’t deserve that kind gesture.

Still, Lance wasn’t exactly known for his ability to refuse anything Keith asked him.

“Yeah, Hunk” He spoke up and moved his head to look at his best friend “Let’s figure it out tomorrow”

Lance pretended he didn’t hear Keith’s relieved sigh. He also pretend not to notice how knowing he made Keith happy made his stomach feel weird again.

+++

It turned out to be way more difficult than planned to actually talk to Keith the next day. Shiro woke up too early and then they were thrown into a treasure hunt to find a magical…blue lion? Lance wasn’t exactly sure, but, even if he didn’t admit it, he trusted Keith.

Even if he was an asshole.

A stupid, dumb, ridiculously hot asshole.

 _Fuck my life,_ Lance told himself with a sigh as he followed Hunk, arms crossed and face scrunched up in anger as he watched Keith walk by Shiro’s side in front of him.

It wasn’t that he was jealous of Shiro, Lance knew the relationship between the two boys was purely platonic (he had brought the possibility of a romantic relationship between the two once and he vividly remember the way Keith’s face contorted at the idea. _Ew, no_ , he had said, _Shiro is like a brother to me_ ), but it still hurt to see Keith completely ignore him in favor of another person’s company.

 _Shiro has just gotten back after being abducted by aliens so it’s perfectly understandable that Keith wants to stay close to him. Imagine if it was Veronica.,_ The logical side of Lance’s brain argued. Lance decided to ignore it, being angry was better for his dignity.

“And we’re here” Hunk said as they stopped in front of a cave.

“Wow” Pidge commented “Look at these drawings!”

And suddenly, as if by magic, Lance’s anger was suddenly forgotten as he felt the overwhelming need to just unfold his arms and touch that wall. Minutes later, when he and his friends were inside a giant robot lion, he decided it was really magic.

+++

The woman in his arms was beautiful and Lance was sure his past self wouldn’t have hesitated to flirt with her with some of his famous charm. However, he was honestly not feeling up to it.

(Was it because he still had feelings for one mulleted asshole? No. No, it wasn’t. Shut the fuck up.)

“Hey” He said gently “Do you know who you are?”

The beautiful woman wasn’t one for conversations apparently, because as soon as the words left his mouth, he felt her violently twist her body out of his arms, grab him by the ear and push him to the ground.

“What _are_ you?!” She screamed, hand twisting his ear painfully “Where is my father?!”

Before he could even say anything, Keith was already next to them, al knife on his hand being pointed at the woman’s face.

“Let go of him” He said dangerously.

(Did Lance find it extremely hot? No. No, he didn’t. Seriously, shut the fuck up)

The woman seemed to think about it for a second, her eyes scanning the room around her as if she was looking for a weapon for herself, before finally letting go of Lance and taking a step backwards. Keith offered his hand, but Lance refused and got up on his own. They both pretended it didn’t hurt.

“Who are you?” The woman repeated, more calmly this time “And where is my father?”

“We are humans”Shiro stepped forward “And we don’t know who your father is nor we know his current whereabouts”

“Humans?” The woman asked, confused “What on the quiznak is a huma-”      

She never got to finish the question. The other alien pod opened and a new alien popped out, this one being caught by Shiro’s arms. This alien only blinked a few times before jumping out of them immediately, his own arms raised in a fighting stance.

“Invaders!” He screamed “Don’t worry princess, I’ll protect you against these-these…” He put his arms down for a second “What are they?”

“Humans” The woman answered.

Arms up again.

“Against these roombas!”

That day would be long, Lance could feel it.

+++

Lance never thought of himself as particularly special. He was very determined, that he could say, and few things could really stop him if he put his mind to something. What he meant was, he never really imagined he would end up as a leg for a giant robot, fighting in a space war he didn’t even know was happening.

Weird shit right? But the universe didn’t stop there, oh no. Lance wasn’t just stuck in space.

He was stuck in space with his ex.

(Could he even call Keith that? Were they even officially boyfriends in the first place? Lance didn't want to think too much about it)

Needless to say, it was awkward, and it wasn’t showing signs of getting any better. Especially when they were forced to connect their minds through alien tech (because _team bonding)_ and all Lance could think of was how he could not think about kissing Keith under the stars or sneaking into the other boy’s room at two in the morning or loving a stupid boy so much it _hurt_ -

Lance was pretty sure he was most likely creating new barriers in his mind than actually letting down the ones he already had so he waited for the inevitable scold he knew he would get from Allura. Fortunately though(for him at least), Pidge managed to break the connection before he got discovered so haha, the blame wasn't on him this time.

“I don’t want to do this stupid exercise!” The small boy shouted as he let the headset drop to the ground.

“Pidge-” Shiro tried to reason.

“No!” Pidge answered “I’m not having you inside my head!”

Pidge would probably never know, but Lance was never more thankful for an outburst in his entire life.

+++

“The maze will shock the person if they hit a wall, so it’s whoever’s is guiding duty to make sure their teammate crosses the entire thing safely” Coran explained with an easy smile “It’s easy enough yeah?”

Lance nodded even though the idea of being at risk of receiving electrical shocks didn’t make him happy at all. God , what had he done to deserve that? He just wanted to go home. He still had unshed tears to cry on his mothers lap, he was saving those for winter break.

“Good!” Coran continued, excitedly, when all the paladins accepted the training exercise “Number three, you may go first!”

Lance honestly wanted to groan. Just his luck.

“Who’s guiding me?” He asked once he entered the maze.

“Take two steps forward” A way too familiar voice answered him.

Just his _fucking_ luck.

Lance took a deep breath. There was no way Keith would purposely make him hit a wall, right? There was no way he was that much of an asshole. No way.

(Well, he didn’t expect Keith to just leave him too and look at what happened)

“Lance, are you listening?” Keith called (And Lance would never admit that hearing his name being called by Keith sent shivers down his spine) “Take two steps forward.”

What other option did he have, anyway.

“Kay” He answered briefly and did just that.

No shock. That was definitely a win.

“Ok, now take three steps left, but be sure not make them too wide or you will hit the wall”

Lance obeyed again. The rest of the exercise went smoothly, but Lance couldn’t really smile at Coran’s praise.

“You two make a good team!” The orange haired alien told them both with a smile.

 _Yeah_ , Lance thought, _Not anymore._

+++

Lance fucking hated being homesick. The party had been fun up until the point Hunk made some random comment about how one of the dishes being served looked a lot like garlic knots and Lance couldn’t really contain the sadness anymore.

Coran found him not long after he left and the conversation the two of them had made Lance feel a lot worse (Earth was so so _tiny, so far away_ ) before it made him feel better. They were both leaving the room with smiles on their faces when not-Rover passed right next to him and everything went to shit really, really fast.

The moments after the bomb exploded were just a blur of pain and fear. Lance honestly thought he was dead a few times, only to be brought back to reality by a sharp pain somewhere in his body.

He managed to open his eyes thrice.

The first time, to see Shiro giving up the fight for him.

The second, to see Pidge being lifted by the neck by a very big and very bad alien villain. That time, he managed to not only be awake for more than five seconds, but to actually get his bayard and shoot the bastard that had his friend.

The third, to see Keith’s worried eyes staring at him.

“Lance” Keith called and he sounded so scared it hurt “Stay awake, okay? Coran is getting the pod ready.”

“…pod?” He asked, voice weak.

“To make you better. Now, please stay with me, yeah? Don’t close your eyes again.”

“…but I’m sleepy” He argued, his eyes falling closed before he was woken up again by a sharp squeeze on his hand.

(When had Keith grabbed his hand?)

“I know” Keith answer and it was so _gentle_ “But you can’t sleep right now.” And maybe it was Lance’s mind playing tricks on him, but it sounded like Keith sniffed “I can’t loose you, Lance”

Lance actually put effort into saying his next words.

“Then why did you leave me?”

Keith didn’t answer. Maybe because he didn’t know the answer either or maybe because Lance fell unconscious just seconds after the words left his mouth.

Who knew.

+++

Lance fell straight into Keith’s arms and, for the brief seconds in which his mind was still fuzzy because of the cold and weird alien tech, he actually let himself enjoy the warmth of the other boy’s body against his own.

“Lance!” Hunk screamed, and the moment was broken.

Lance was hugged by his best friend, then walked to his room to put on his clothes and then guided to the dinner table to eat some goo as he heard his teammates tell everything he had lost while unconscious.

Keith stayed quiet the whole time. Lance pretended he didn’t know why.

+++

Lance didn’t hear the knocks on his door due to the headphones covering his ears and playing a loud tune while he tried to reorganize his desk. That’s why he almost had a heart attack when he turned around to find Keith leaning on his wall.

“ _Puta madre!”_ He screamed, almost dropping the book he had on his hand and also almost falling on his butt. He would have fallen had Keith not jumped forward and grabbed his hand.

_What a fucking cliché._

Once steady again, Lance was quick to pull his hand out of Keith’s hold. The boy flinched at the movement and Lance used all his will not to feel bad about it.

The few seconds of awkward silence were the worst.

“So” Lance finally said, not looking at Keith as he gently put the book on his bed “Aside from almost scarring me to death, why are you here, Kogane?”

(He couldn’t say Keith. It would hurt too much to say it)

“I-” Keith began, but cut himself off. It was something he did a lot, especially when they were having actual serious conversations. It made Lance want to reach out and grab his hand again but he stayed put. Keith sighed. “I wanted to say sorry.” He continued “I’m sorry I-” Another sigh “I’m sorry I hurt you, Lance”

It felt good to hear that, Lance could admit it. It would have been enough for past Lance and if he still had that mindset he would already be in Keith's arms . Present Lance, however, needed a bit more to forgive.

“You should be” He said coldly, still not looking at Keith.

“I know” Keith agreed. He sounded defeated.

Lance finally looked up.

“Why did you leave, Keith?’

It took a while before any words left Keith’s mouth. The boy seemed torn between running away or punching something. (Lance was glad he chose not do any of those options)

“It was too much” He admitted finally. It sounded honest. “I knew you would want me to move on and I know you would have helped me do it, but I also knew Shiro was alive and I knew you wouldn’t believe me so I left.”

Lance’s sadness was quickly replaced by anger.

“That’s it?” He asked, incredulous. He took a step forward to jab a finger on Keith’s chest “For the love of- I can’t fucking believe you, Keith! What the actual fuck?!”

“Am I wrong, Lance?” Keith also seemed angry now. “Would you have believed me if I told you Shiro was alive? Would you have given up everything to investigate it with me? Would you let go of everything you wanted?!”

“I loved you, Keith!” Lance exploded, and he felt the corner of his eyes getting wet. It only made him angrier “And ok, maybe I wouldn’t be so harsh to just throw away everything my family and I had worked so hard for, but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t have talked to me! I would have been there for you! I would have helped you how I could!” Lance felt himself deflate, anger replaced by that sadness he knew so well “Do you even know how much it hurt when you left?”

“I know how much it hurt to leave”

And suddenly Lance’s head was pressed against Keith’s shoulder and he was wrapping his arms around the other boy and being hugged back and it was too much too much too _much-_

“You took away everything I wanted” Lance sniffed “All I wanted was you”

“I’m sorry, Lance” Keith sniffed too and it _hurt_ “I’m so fucking sorry”

“I loved you, Keith” Lance continued. “I still do”

Kissing Keith again felt like going home and Lance couldn’t pretend like it didn’t hurt, but he also couldn’t pretend it didn’t feel really, really good.

Keith was never one for many words so Lance had gotten good at reading what he meant with his actions. There was no doubt in Lance’s mind what that kiss meant:

_I love you too._

And, at that moment, that was everything Lance needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Any thoughts? It's a bit shorter that I wanted it to be but I have the really bad habit of staring to wrtie this shit at like two am so yeah.  
> Comments are always very appreciated!


End file.
